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Good Nudes for People Who Love Bad Nudes

by Error Jordan

/
1.
I don't want you to be perfect. No, I don't even want you perfect for me. I want to see you breathing. I want to watch you hold the weight of everything. Love's not lost, if it's gone, I guess that it's just gone. It won't stay long. But if I had to lose, I'd lose to you. Like I always do. I wrote you letters, but every word I thought to write, I kept. I've got my reasons, and if I didn't have to ask, I wouldn't have. Your face won't lie. It's in your eyes, and in every line I could trace to mine, while I was wishing you would come back down and lay back down. But something always keeps me up.
2.
Cheek Biter 03:05
Back there's the kitchen, the stove and the sink. She made the breakfast, I poured the drinks. Behind me's the front room, new planks in the floor. I played the records, she danced in 3/4. Now as the season springs out from it's covers, where the leaves lie and the grass is brown, she won't come back here, and I can't stick around. That's where I lay awake every night. That's where you left it, but I still tried. Where did you find me? Why did I stay? Why is it easy for you to walk away? Watch the paint dry over drips in the colors. Hear the wind blow through the open doors. Don't come back here, because I'm not here anymore.
3.
I poured my blood out. I was just keeping it for you, and if it isn't what you want now, tell me what's the use? Because I can't stop bleeding. I think it's what I's born to do. Oh god, isn't there somebody who will love me like you used to? So, now I'm mostly sleeping trying hard not to dream of you. I wish I could tell you that it's working, but I just keep waking. Do you believe I love you? As if it even matters now. Been living on fumes for such a long time. Oh love, I think my brain it is a-changing. Your signal's bringing pain. I've been spraining these old bones and nursing them alone. Something in my mind has gone. Misplacing my memories, leaving shame. I feel too young to feel this old.
4.
Since she grew wings and twined up her tired feet, I have been waiting with my hands on the string. Back porch living in that old house on Oak St. When she told me, it took months to believe. Now when I sleep, she comes and sleeps next to me. Those golden wings. Her feathers stuck in the leaves. It's nothing. It doesn't seem worth noting. My hands are freezing, but I don't feel a thing. She'll come to sleep. They don't believe, but I've seen. I was waiting; up early in the morning, when it came falling through the branches of the tree. In the evening, when the old trees stops their breathing. I feel her swaying on. She'll come to me, lay down her wings and fall asleep. down by the leaves feet wrapped in sheets, breathing deep.
5.
The 19th 02:34
Someday, I'll wake up and I'll see you, but you won't say a thing. I'll pick my shirt up and say, "I love you," but you won't hear a thing. I'll set the table, pour the coffee, but you won't eat a thing. I will regret it on my deathbed, that you aren't here with me.
6.
Oh. Oops 02:53
I'm probably not gonna get over it this time. Maybe I'll just move back home. I've been living in this city ten minutes too long. I can't keep from pacing around the bedroom floor; face all hot and red, mind all twisted. Remember the way I saw you for the second time the night we first met? Can you see where you went wrong? I don't know the whole story How's it feel now that she's gone? I wake up dazed every morning Is it something in your head? If that isn't it, what I used to say...I still mean it I just want some rest tonight. I'm begging you, just for one more night, won't you stay with me, mama? If you don't have to leave right now, I don't want you to. Won't you lay back down and just stay with me, mama?
7.
If it takes a whole year, how much time can I need? You and your fears don't choke the love that grows in me. It still breathes. Your light burning, some nights, I still see. My eyes believe when it shines on me. Old, but not dead, my dreams, they won't wake up. You may run ahead, but come back home if it's not enough. I'll be waiting up. I breathe when I sleep. Cold sweat, and beating. What we hoped would be, it's everything. And while you sleep I think away more than I keep. I hope you dream but rest with ease. And when you wake, if you think of me, say my name.

about

I spent a lot of time on this record. But it felt so natural and organic. I wrote the first track on a six-string ukulele in a hotel in Florida. I wrote 12/26/16 completely “in the box” as they say, which was a first for me. I spent far more money to make this than I made off it, and I don’t care. This is me. I’m sooooooo proud of this record. It may be my best work ever. We’ll see.

credits

released July 7, 2017

Produced, Recorded, and Mixed by Jordan Banks, except:
No News is Good News mixed by Greg Panciera
She Grew Wings mixed by Dallas Johnson
Background vocals on She Grew Wings recorded by Steffen Yazvac (steffenyazvac.com)

All Instruments performed by Jordan Banks except:
Drums on No News is Good News performed by Matt Iceman
Violin on No News is Good News performed by Maria Grig
Harp on Cheek Biter performed by Brona McVittie
Extra Electric Guitars on December 26, 2016 performed by Duane Chew
Live Drums on She Grew Wings performed by Tory Kirgiss
Background vocals on She Grew Wings performed by Steffen Yazvac
Clarinet and Flute on The 19th performed by Marybeth Kern
Stand-Up Bass on You Belong to You performed by Caleb Benner
Trombones on You Belong to You performed by Alex Mason

Cover art by Anna Zimmerman (annaezimmerman.com)
Titles written by Mike Banks

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Error Jordan Indianapolis, Indiana

Error Jordan began in February 2016 and continues to exist even now.

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